Last night I was revisited by an old feeling. It was one of those I really didn't miss having.
Last night was the first time in a very long time the thought crossed my mind that it would be easier to just fucking end it all.
It didn't come along full-formed with a plan, but it was there and it didn't go away for quite a while. Actually, it's still kinda hanging out in the back of my head almost like it pulled up a chair and decided to stay for awhile. I think it still has its coat on, tho, so maybe I can kick it out today.
Maybe I'll come back and edit this later to try to go through what brought about this feeling. It might be helpful to me to spill my thoughts out. Maybe not. Who knows?