Thursday, February 15, 2007

Fucking Asshole

Thanks for driving drunk, Mr. Asshead.
Thanks also for smashing my van while I'm driving with the baby actually on-board.
Thanks. Really.

Last I checked your wiper isn't supposed to be inside the fucking car. Neither is the back window. The paper thing which appears to be a french fry wrapper is actually an 8-speed bike cassette for the rear wheel. In the box. Which is destroyed. Like my van. Fucking asshole.

How hard do you have to hit somebody to compress the whole length of the van so that at first glance the rear end almost looks normal save for the smashed in hatch? The frame is buckled, the suspension is fucked. The rear fenders are too close to the tires which are also too close to the front of the van. Fucking asshole.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Argh. Maybe you should round up a posse this weekend and kick some drunken ass. It'd be fun and warranted ... Glad that you and the baby are all right.

Liquid Pork Gun said...

maybe he thought your van was too long - it Was a bit shy of the golden ratio...

Spinning Girl said...

holy everliving crap!

Anonymous said...

So what the fuck does having a baby on board have to do with it.
Do you expect people to chose who the fuck they are goin g to run into. Hey bob lets go out aND GET Realy fucked up then we will look for car with a "baby on Board" an run into them. hey maybe they will call us an asshole cuse we hit the car 'While the baby was on board' What you think your exzempt , from being hit by fuck brained drunks becuae you have a baby on board

Sacky said...

Did you maybe sleep through the 80's?

Cuz people had stupid signs on their cars which actually said that.

Baby on board. In a yellow diamond like a caution sign on the road.

But I didn't have that cuz it's fucking stupid. And besides, I don't think those who are putting all their effort into not spilling their drink to actually see any sort of road sign - be they large ones beside the road or little ones in car windows.

I don't recall if I knew all the details when I originally posted this. But -- for the record, the FUCKING ASSHOLE who hit me already had three DUI offenses BEFORE he hit me. I was number four.

And if you're driving in Maryland watch out for a guy in a Hydral-Repair truck. Cuz he's technically in jail, but they let him out five or six days a week to go to his job. So he could have a couple nine-or-ten drinks and hit you next.

Oh, and before I go, since you got me all jacked up about this FUCKING ASSHOLE again -- anyone who drives - or even risks driving after drinking - is a FUCKING ASSHOLE, even if they somehow manage not to smash into someone and ruin their whole fucking year.