Thursday, November 09, 2006

Anger Management - Step by Step

1. Grab your guitar. Tune it to standard intervals. The fat string should be tuned to C#.

2. Grab your amp. Turn the pre-gain up all the way. Try to twist the fucking knob off.

3. Still at the amp, turn the post gain or master volume up to a very loud level. From prior experince you should know which point on the indicator summons the cops. If you're only kind of pissed, put it a hair below this point. If you're really pissed, just go a hair past that point.

4. Cue up the CD, record, tape or MP3 of "I'm Broken" from Pantera's Far Beyond Driven album. Make sure it's loud enough to be heard along side your blazing guitar amp.

5. Get ready to go - the guitar starts on the fucking downbeat.

6. When it gets to the halftime part be sure your head swings forward on the kick drum and snaps back (hard) on the snare. Be careful with the string skips, but don't stop the neck snapping.

7. Repeat. Maybe try it with Cemetery Gates or (if your wrist is up to it) the Cowboys.

7a. Kick stuff.


i, squub said...

Last time I heard Cemetary Gates I got tears in my eyes.

Last time I kicked stuff I broke it.

Sacky said...

Some things just aren't fair.

furiousBall said...

C# is saddest of all detunings