Stick it in the Slot

Someway back (can't have been too long ago, cuz my foot is still in this fucking GIANT BLACK VELCRO BOOT) I mentioned about a new washing machine.

As in many cases, the new washing machine did in fact replace an old washing machine.

I am back today to show you pictures of the old, quarter-eating, non-spinning washing machine.

Here you go:

There it is, sitting by the trash cans. Even before we moved it out there, the front was already kicked off of it. I'm kinda sad you can't see the sign taped to the front. "Do not put feet on washers," it said. I'm guessing people didn't listen or else the front wouldn't have banged around all the time like a wounded asshole.

Here is a bigger shot showing the fancy Computer Control Pad and the quarter slot.

If you open the lid (which required some prying) you can flip a button which lets you reprogram shit. I only ever figured out how to make it not take quarters. But it only stayed that way until the power went out, then I'd have to fix it again.

All's well.

We got a new washing machine.

Brand spankin' new. Our old one took quarters. This one doesn't. I could get the quarters out, or even set it to not take quarters but it still only had 6 buttons so you couldn't run just part of a cycle. And if the power went out (like it does here in the sticks) then it went back to requiring $0.75 to do a load.

Our old one didn't have any dents. This one does.

Our old one didn't have a whole front panel thus leaving the guts exposed. The new one has a front. Which is dented.

Brand new. In the box. Dented. Thanks, Home Depot.

The better part is that the right rear corner looks like sombody dropped it off of a fucking fork lift about two or three feet too soon. Thanks, Home Depot.

But it works, so who gives a shit.

It fills up with water. It is not anything at all near as noisy as I expected a $300 washer to be.

AND. It's one of the four top-rated in the ACTUALLY WASHES CLOTHES WELL cagegory of Consumer Reports. The other ones cost $599, $999, and $1099.

So that was an easy decision. I guess the $700 discount is automatically figured in when they slow down the truck and kick it out the back rather than actually stopping to deliver it to the store.

And now I feel slightly less worthless but I really wish my wife would stop asking me "So what's dinner going to be?" every two fucking seconds.