Chasing the Chicken

Throwing Heads is a Band!

2011-05-17T15:02:00.005-04:00

I play guitar and sing in a band called Throwing Heads. It's been so long since I last updated this blog that I don't even know if it's been mentioned here before.Throwing Heads has released an album. It looks like this:More importantly, it sounds like this:Get the album at iTunes:http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/adrift-in-time/id396551348?ign-mpt=uo%3D4Get the album at Amazon:http://

Paintings from 12/2009

2010-03-01T13:35:00.005-05:00

Time for the yearly update...Here are two paintings I made for my wife's Christmas presents.

What's up, blog?

2009-07-28T12:44:00.003-04:00

I haven't been here in a while. I dunno why, it's just kind of the way I go with web-things.My website hasn't been updated in ages, either.Anyhow, here's some neat shit to check out:Amorphis - SkyforgerI haven't been this excited about an Amorphis album since the first time I heard Elegy back in 1995. Put this high on your gotta-hear-it list.Sample chapter from the fantastic Tim Powers

Finished

2009-01-19T22:04:00.003-05:00

Here is the painting I started in the last post. As with all of these, I never know if it's done -- I just pick a place to stop where I think that if I do more I might totally ruin it.Here you go:

Nudes?

2009-01-12T01:00:00.004-05:00

I've gotten into my head some sort of crazy scheme for a painting. This is what could be the first step toward achieving some kind of something else. In order to complete the scheme, however, I should probably learn what the hell I'm doing when I'm slapping paint around.Here's a charcoal sketch and the underpainting (which consisted of simultaneous build-up, painting wet-into-wet in some spots.)

Finished Tree

2009-01-06T09:08:00.002-05:00

There is another post a few weeks back about the tree painting.I think it's finished, so here are some pictures - one of which features my fancy new easel.

Holy Blu-ray, Batman!

2008-12-18T13:50:00.004-05:00

I was barely paying attention to the fight between HD-DVD and Blu-ray (mostly because I knew if I paid attention, I'd have to get one...) The only time it really registered on my radar when it first came out was when I saw a display in Staples near the Blu-ray drives for computers. Looking at the specs, I was rooting for Blu-ray to come out on top, but my heart told me the mass-market consumers

painting a picture of a picture

2008-12-11T14:09:00.013-05:00

My friend Michael took a picture this past summer. It looks like this:I liked it and thought it would probably make a nice painting if I could muster up the time and energy to attempt it. Finding a nice 18"x24" canvas just sitting around (in a store, waiting to be bought...) I scratched out a representation in charcoal.A day or two later, I attacked it with the paints. I used broad tones as a

Movies & Toys

2008-12-08T21:54:00.004-05:00

I like movies. I'm probably addicted to them. My mother claims that I will watch any movie. Moreover, she claims that I like any movie I watch.I'm sure this isn't true, because I remember hating every minute of The Doom Generation. If I ever see Greg Araki, I might just have to punch him in the jaw.And, despite my total devotion to Nicole Kidman and anything she is in, I can say for sure that

New painting

2008-12-01T19:18:00.003-05:00

Since I got out of the hospital earlier this year (an all-together unpleasant experience, which I'm not going to post here) I haven't painted very much. I started a landscape painting but it still sits -- mostly white with a dozen shades of green denoting leaves and grass and shadows.I've been fending off the urge to paint for about a month now (mostly due to the fact that it takes quite a bit

Rules for the Workplace

2008-09-02T14:15:00.004-04:00

Rules for the Workplace (use at your own risk)If you come to work late then you MUST make up for it by leaving early.Lunch "hour" is really about 90 minutes, especially if you have to leave the office to eat.Lunch hour does not necessarily consist of 90 contiguous minutes. Thus, when I'm checking my GMail at 3:15, I can assure you that I'm making up for the 15 minutes when I was

6 steps to FAIL

2008-07-26T10:12:00.007-04:00

1. Load up van with trash from your garage.2. Drive to county landfill.3. Drop of old air conditioner at Metal Recycling pile.4. Drop off old office chairs at the "Swap Shop"5. Put it in reverse and do a backwards U-Turn over to the cardboard recycling dumpsters.6. Get halfway to the dumpster (all of about 75 feet) and get broadsided by the BACK END of a roll-off dumpster. Which is on the

Cover Painting

2008-07-17T12:39:00.001-04:00

Bands play cover songs. I guess artists can do cover paintings.I learned a lot about playing guitar by playing other peoples songs. In much the same way, I'm learning a lot about color and composition by recreating an existing painting.This one is in-progress, but it's decent enough to show, I think.Also worth mentioning, aside from the ruined Onions painting, this is the only one I've ever

Trees pt. 3

2008-06-11T12:36:00.001-04:00

This week we went outside again and I painted the same scene as last week, but from a different angle.So far, I like this one best.Trees3:

FAIL

2008-06-11T12:08:00.001-04:00

This is a painting I started the week after I had done the one of Woman and Drapes.I had some red onions in an orange bowl, sitting on a vibrant plaid tablecloth.To get started, I made a color chart of the main colors I would be using - crimson on one side and ultramarine on the other. In the middle I got the tones for my onions.I did another with cadmium red and cadmium yellow to get the orange

Painting inside

2008-06-04T12:30:00.001-04:00

I enjoyed painting trees last week and I was looking forward to doing it again.However, it was raining when I got to class so we couldn't go outside. I set up an easel in front of the still life the instructor had assembled, but it was not inspiring me at all. So, I moved my easel over to the window and took in the view looking across the back of the college.I was looking at an angle out the

Trees

2008-05-28T12:25:00.001-04:00

We went outside to paint for class yesterday.The sun was just going down as we were finishing and it was casting some amazing colors - the kinds of colors I never knew how to see before I started painting.Here's one of Trees:

Art Class

2008-05-08T11:59:00.001-04:00

I'm taking a drawing and painting class one day a week at the local community college.We started off with pencils and charcoal just drawing shapes and learning shading. I find charcoal to be far superior to pencil for getting my ideas across and making things looks more like actual things.I haven't captured any of the pencil and charcoal output, so I'll have to try to remember to add that in

Peach Blossoms

2008-04-09T11:47:00.002-04:00

One of my books from the library has some step-by-step exercises on how famous artists created their works. That one of these showed how to do one of of Van Gogh's Peach Blossoms seemed too good a deal to pass up.So here's my take on Vincent's Peach Trees in Blossom - Souvenir de Mauve. I urge you to click on it so that it blows up to full-resolution which shows the detail of the brush strokes

Oil Painting

2008-03-15T14:44:00.001-04:00

I've been to Michaels about 20 times. I initially went to get some real sketching pencils and a decent drawing pad. But I find myself standing in the aisle with the oil paints wondering how I can justify the nearly-certain $200 outlay it would take to get started in this particular medium.Student grade paints - $5 a tube for 37ml. That holds less than a travel-sized toothpaste.Brushes - from

Art - a rediscovery

2008-02-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

I think I've always been a little cynical about art.I was probably nine or ten when I was first exposed to art outside of school. In this case, the art came in the form of paintings when my mother developed an interest in works by Matisse and Monet. The paintings in our house were actually big 24x36" exhibition posters. While I found some of them to be interesting, they didn't light any sort

Thank you, Mr. Aronofsky

2008-01-04T15:09:00.001-05:00

I bet a lot of people don't even see this movie.I bet a lot of the people who see it hate it. Most won't even try to understand it.But Darren Aronofsky's "The Fountain" is a fantastic, stunning film.I first learned about Darren Aronofsky in 1998. In the days when DVD was brand-new and I had very few of them on my shelf, I kept finding myself drawn to the same DVD box. The cover had the symbol for

I got tagginated

2007-12-16T16:00:00.000-05:00

The rules:Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog. Share 7 facts about yourself.Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. 1. I wear a size 14 shoe.2. I hate haircuts so I never get one.3. I own one small boy.4. 48" HD images make me grin like an

Vegetarians: Eat a damn burger already.

2007-12-03T23:48:00.000-05:00

These people come up with the weirdest ideas.But that's OK. Here is some nice science which points out that since they don't eat right they can't reproduce:http://www.westonaprice.org/mythstruths/mtvegetarianism.htmlKeep eating your greens, Vegans. Soon you'll be livin' it up with the trilobytes.

how you like them apples?

2007-11-30T04:58:00.000-05:00

I needed 3200. I wrote 10,000. Tonight. I still have a bit more before I can officially tie it up, but if I had to, I could say it has an end and leave it where it is.

46,794

2007-11-28T02:19:00.000-05:00

3200 words to go.Oh yeah.

Bad Stuff

2007-11-26T15:57:00.000-05:00

Today, a fellow I know says he went home and asked his wife what was for dinner.Her answer?TOFU.And that's what they had. It was not to his liking.I then told him my recollection of tofu, so I'll tell it again (regurgitate, so to speak) here:______________Tofu is the worst.I've always been of an open mind to try new things, so when I was at my friend Dave Chao's house, I did try the tofu.This

This just might work, after all

2007-11-23T23:19:00.000-05:00

36,636.That's the word count as of right now.Actually, it's the word count as of around 2 PM today, since I've been driving and visiting people since then.At the start of Turkeyday, I had around 22K, maybe 23K. When I went to bed that night, I had just hit 35K.In case you didn't already know it, that's a lot of writing.In fact, that's even more writing than I did the night before my senior term

Word War, Baby

2007-11-12T14:09:00.000-05:00

The widget is nicer than I am. It doesn't put your name up if you don't have any words.

dammit, dammit, sonofabitch

2007-11-12T03:18:00.000-05:00

HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?A few days ago I was VERY FAR AHEAD. I had a lot of padding in my word count.Now I'm behind. I haven't written for days, and not only did it catch up to me, but it blew right past me and I didn't even notice.I'm a little less than a day behind now. By the end of today (the calendar day, not the one where I should already be in bed) I'm supposed to have over 20,000 words.

Get your shit together.

2007-11-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

Let's try some math:13055/50000 = A whole lotta goddamn words in 3.5 days.I'm truckin' on my novel. How about you?GET GOING PEOPLE. YOU HAVEN'T GOT ALL MONTH. Oh. Well, maybe you do. But 3.5 days are gone already.Have a link here to my Nano Profile where you can see my official unofficial word counter. You can also read some of the crap I'm writing if you go the EXCERPT tab.Nano Linker

Dust off your crazy ideas

2007-10-27T11:25:00.001-04:00

It's that time again. Get your shit together. You even still have a few days to prepare and think something up. Or you can just fly by the seat of your pants. Either way works. Both are fun and exciting. I promise.I can't offer you any fabulous prizes or promise any kind of fame. But what I can tell you is when you finish your novel you will feel all-powerful. Felling all-powerful is almost as

a hunnert

2007-10-07T22:27:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I completed my first century.Century meaning - a one hundred mile bike ride. In one day. Actually, in 8.75 hours from start to finish, including (much needed) breaks.I was not in shape to ride a century. Not one bit. And I can feel every ounce of that non-preparation right now. It's between my legs, which is a nice little spot of concentrated pain, and feels a lot like what that

Those things are bad for you.

2007-09-14T11:30:00.001-04:00

I know I've suggested before that George Bush might be the devil:Bush Hand Gestures

Edguy @ Jaxx

2007-09-13T12:56:00.001-04:00

I can't remember the last time I took a camera to a concert.But I can remember the last time I had this much fun at a concert - that would be the last time I saw Edguy play.If you don't know who the Hell they are (and I'm sure you don't...) go check something out. I'd recommend King of Fools or Sacrifice or Superheroes if you can track down mp3's or streams or whatever (try Amazon. try the link

I remember.

2007-09-11T22:13:00.000-04:00

I remember what it looked like when the first tower came down. I've seen it replayed a hundred thousand times on TV and in pictures since then, but I still remember everything about that moment - live on my TV - while the hastily run satellite dish cable hung through the open window, sun slanting in and making columns of light on the carpet.I remember the horror and the revulsion and the instant

Metal Polka

2007-09-11T02:28:00.001-04:00

48 hours.Some people track down criminals in a funny-buddy cop movie in that kinda time.Other people take an a capella folk song (in Finnish) and figure out some chords and riffs to go along with it. Then they take a 40 mile bike ride for a burrito (was good) and then they come back and lay down a big fucking pile of metal guitars and drums (and some mighty fine soundin' bass) and mix that shit

SOS

2007-08-02T00:09:00.000-04:00

I feel like writing another book.I never finished the one I started in November. I blame that on two reasons -- primarily I had no time for writing a book. But -- but more importantly -- I showed it to someone while it was still in progress. I should know by now that there is no quicker way to kill a writing streak.I'm stuck (I guess you can call it stuck) with this new idea now, and I sorta

STOP FUCKING CHEATING. This means YOU.

2007-07-24T14:28:00.000-04:00

This came out today:http://trustbut.blogspot.com/2007/07/vino-positive.htmlIt says a well-respected rider in the Tour de France has tested positive for a blood transfusion - something which is totally and utterly against the rules.There has been a lot said about doping in the sport of cycling in recent months - most of it due to similar news regarding last year's winner, Floyd Landis.At this

Laptop Rules

2007-07-18T15:42:00.001-04:00

I have a bunch of laptops at my house.ONE OF THEM WORKS.Well, actually two of them -- if you count a flickering LCD as working. But sometimes the start-up voltage doesn't meet the grade so it just sits there black and doesn't even flicker.So here are the new laptop rules:1. All laptops will have an LCD. Any size is fine.1a. If I want to put a 14.1" LCD into a 15" bezel there will be a way to

Light 'em Up

2007-07-11T17:36:00.000-04:00

Hello Stramby,I just came back from the Senate floor, and I have to tell you, I'm pretty steamed.Republicans who love to give speeches about "supporting the troops," and so many of whom have said they disagree with the President's disastrous fire traps, just voted to side with the President over the welfare of our troops.My colleague Jim Webb from Virginia (Jim's a Marine - and I say "is" because

Like a fool out in the rain.

2007-06-19T22:53:00.000-04:00

It's almost summer. It's warm out - even hot some days. But the calendar says summer starts on the solstice. Two days from now.But, like I said, it's raining. And it's hot out. And it's summer enough for me. I've always liked summer rain. I remember sitting on my front porch the night before my first band was going to the studio for the very first time. I had a crappy acoustic guitar and

You can make a man out of a boy...

2007-06-11T12:47:00.000-04:00

I got a lot of plaques when I was growing up. And not just the ones on my teeth, either.I have some from when I raced R/C cars with my dad, I have a few from science fairs, and have a whole slew of them from the Western Allegany Kiwanis club.See, the guy from the Kiwanis club knew the guy who worked with my mom and, Ed, the guy who worked with my mom started a rocket club. I was a charter

Not a puppet

2007-06-09T21:59:00.000-04:00

I'm watching Jesus Camp.It's frightening.There's a kid preparing for a sermon and he tells the filmmakers that he doesn't write the sermon. He says God guides his hand as he holds the pen over the page.And it reminded me of a very specific moment in my life. I don't recall exactly how old I was -- probably six or seven, first or second grade. But I remember where I was and who was there. I

I win!

2007-05-11T02:45:00.000-04:00

Actually, I don't win anything, but that's really the best way to describe how I feel right now.These times, at least for me, are few and far between, but I like it when they come. Maybe it's different for some people, but for me the times when I'm hit with a sudden, mind-cracking revelation don' t come around that often.But it just happened. Actually, it's been building for a few days and it

Political Inbox

2007-05-02T14:09:00.000-04:00

--------------- Original Message ------------------Subject: Fight Back Against The VetoFrom: "John Kerry" Date: Wed, May 2, 2007 2:25 pmTo: Harold@76FordPintoRocks.com---------------------------------------------------Hi Harold,When I first introduced legislation with Russ Feingold to set fire to the Republicans putting up a roadblock to our efforts, the dirtbags in Congress,

Fuck the TV

2007-04-12T00:00:00.000-04:00

So do you watch that American Idol?We started watching it last year and were easily hooked -- mostly because of the terrible sucks who have no idea they suck as bad as they suck at the auditions.But, once it got rolling it was still interesting.This year, however, I've had trouble getting into it as much. I dunno what it is about it, cuz a lot o of the people are pretty good singers, but there

Fuck Easter

2007-04-10T21:33:00.000-04:00

What the fuck is with this Easter shit, anyhow?I mean, really, what do bunnies and chicks and colored eggs have to do with the Jesus?All of those things (kinda like Christmas trees, too) are remnants of ancient pagan beliefs which have just been absorbed by Christianity. Would the mommies at your local Sunday School be happy to know we eat chocolate bunnies today as a remnant of earlier beliefs

White Trash Confessions

2007-03-31T00:02:00.000-04:00

Just in case we might ever find some reason to get snobby or uppity, I'll post here that earlier this week we took the old coin-operated washing machine to the dump.As I scroll back through the posts, I see one in January where I finally got around to taking pictures of the shitty thing.So that means it sat in our driveway, right in front of the house for over three months.It got snowed on,

Dzienkuje, Home Depot

2007-03-30T11:08:00.000-04:00

Home Depot has instituted this new thing where they ask you what your P.O. number or job name is. I guess this is so you can somehow track your Home Depot spending, and is probably very useful to people who actually make a living out of fixing shit in houses.When asked by the cashier about my particular project, I've always just told her to leave it blank.But, last night I took advantage of the

Bunny Sadness

2007-03-04T22:25:00.000-05:00

The bunny is going to be sad. My wife says so.See, the bunny is dangerous to the baby. The bunny's nose can come off and kill the baby. This can't be, so we have to send the bunny back. They promise to send us a voucher to use to purchase another toy of our choosing.But my wife says the bunny will no longer be serving his intended purpose when he is thrown away. She says the bunny will be

Fucking Asshole

2007-02-15T18:57:00.000-05:00

Thanks for driving drunk, Mr. Asshead. Thanks also for smashing my van while I'm driving with the baby actually on-board. Thanks. Really. Last I checked your wiper isn't supposed to be inside the fucking car. Neither is the back window. The paper thing which appears to be a french fry wrapper is actually an 8-speed bike cassette for the rear wheel. In the box. Which is destroyed. Like my

Little Miss Sunshine

2007-01-28T22:44:00.000-05:00

I don't even know what to say here.I'm still fucking laughing and the movie's been over for twenty minutes.So, yeah. If you haven't seen Little Miss Sunshine yet go out and get it. Watch it. Make sure you pee first or you'll need to change your pants.

Stick it in the Slot

2007-01-26T22:44:00.000-05:00

Someway back (can't have been too long ago, cuz my foot is still in this fucking GIANT BLACK VELCRO BOOT) I mentioned about a new washing machine.As in many cases, the new washing machine did in fact replace an old washing machine.I am back today to show you pictures of the old, quarter-eating, non-spinning washing machine.Here you go:There it is, sitting by the trash cans. Even before we moved

Pleas write soething else!

2007-01-26T22:36:00.000-05:00

It has been brought to my attention that Pleas write soething else.What are these Pleas? And how is a verb able to write?As for "soething else..." I guess I can't be too surprised. What else do you suppose a poor little Plea, struggling with pen in hand, should manage to write?So, I will now share this with you all. Please spread the word.The Pleas are able to write "soething else."I wonder what

How important is Snacko?

2007-01-12T23:40:00.000-05:00

snacko serves snack soupsnack soup is wholesome goodnesssnack soup is a good friend of minesnack soup is very liberatedsnack soup stands up to opression and tyrannysnack soup is the source of freedom in war-torn countries.snack soup is the breath of life in a firey buildingsnack soup is a parachute when you find yourself ejected from a spacecraft

All's not quite so well.

2007-01-12T23:13:00.000-05:00

I am on drugs. Currently it's Oxycodone which is secret generic slang for Percoset. Priorly it was Hydrocodone which is generic slang for Vicodin. Both are good.You see, about four hours after we achieved our new washing machine, my right foot started hurting. To properly describe the sensation in my foot you would need to imagine what it would feel like if you dropped a washing machine on

All's well.

2007-01-07T19:33:00.000-05:00

We got a new washing machine.Brand spankin' new. Our old one took quarters. This one doesn't. I could get the quarters out, or even set it to not take quarters but it still only had 6 buttons so you couldn't run just part of a cycle. And if the power went out (like it does here in the sticks) then it went back to requiring $0.75 to do a load.Our old one didn't have any dents. This one

never gets finished

2007-01-06T08:36:00.000-05:00

Last night I was revisited by an old feeling. It was one of those I really didn't miss having.Last night was the first time in a very long time the thought crossed my mind that it would be easier to just fucking end it all.It didn't come along full-formed with a plan, but it was there and it didn't go away for quite a while. Actually, it's still kinda hanging out in the back of my head almost

Inspiration can strike anywhere

2007-01-04T17:52:00.000-05:00

Burnt out signs may make for good album titles:INTE TIONAFURNITU

Holy oldshit, Batman!

2007-01-03T00:39:00.000-05:00

D'ja ever notice how when a band plays a song sometimes (most times) it's faster than on the CD? This is the result of syncing the CD track to the faster live performance and using everything under the sun to disquise the fact that you only shot with one camera and you have to keep backing up a few frames to line up the lips.Like it really matters.It also benefits from fantastic video capture

How many days until...

2006-12-23T13:43:00.000-05:00

1. I am not ready for Christmas. Somebody else is.2. Did I mention about The Beatles' LOVE thing? I can't stop listening to it.I realized why it sounds as good as it does (then I went and verified by finding some interviews with George & Giles Martin...)When this stuff was initially recorded, the technical limitations of the time meant that these songs were recorded to 4-track tape -- at least up

I'm stunned. Floored. Holy shit.

2006-12-15T01:34:00.000-05:00

I must be living in a cave or something. Up until now I'd only heard a few rumblings about The Beatles: LOVE project.This project somehow involves legendary Beatles producer George Martin, his son, Cirque du Soleil, and the original recordings made at Abbey Road Studios during the 8 year period the Beatles were active.I had heard a small rumbling about somehow mish-mashing songs together and

Going solo

2006-12-01T12:47:00.000-05:00

I tried. I really, really tried.But I think I found the key to the whole thing.See -- last year when I did NaNoWriMo, I had other people in my immediate circle doing it, too. I could check their stats and see that they were creeping up on the big lead I created early on, so I would write more.After week 2 when I hit the wall, I could check stats and see I was completely caught-up to and passed

Where's Ringo?

2006-11-29T16:44:00.000-05:00

Virgin says there are 74 bands in this image. How many can you find?(click the image for the full resolution graphic or you'll be missing half of the easy ones...)My finds are in the comments so as to not spoil all your fun with the easy ones.

"And in my dying breath..."

2006-11-16T16:05:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, and it was brought to the forefront of my actual conscious brain today when I got an e-mail reminding me of a very specific event in my past. We're talking a split-second, blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of thing. It is the kind of thing that brings back a flood of memories -- all of them good -- and it made me give voice to what I had been going over

Failing at not sucking

2006-11-15T10:19:00.000-05:00

I stand by my previous posts about NaNoWriMo - sit down and write your story. It's not too late, but you'll have to work extra overtime to ever get finished.But, as I say that, I have to admit that I am sucking big time. I should be at around 20,000 words in my NaNo Novel. I'm about a quarter of that. And you'll even just have to take my word on it because I haven't bothered to update the

Anger Management - Step by Step

2006-11-09T16:52:00.000-05:00

1. Grab your guitar. Tune it to standard intervals. The fat string should be tuned to C#.2. Grab your amp. Turn the pre-gain up all the way. Try to twist the fucking knob off.3. Still at the amp, turn the post gain or master volume up to a very loud level. From prior experince you should know which point on the indicator summons the cops. If you're only kind of pissed, put it a hair

just another day

2006-11-05T09:33:00.000-05:00

Thirteen years ago today I had a busy day. I remember very clearly that it was a Friday. I had just had the transmission replaced in my fabulous '81 Buick Century. When I picked it up, the brakes still didn't work worth a shit, so I ended up taking my mom's car to work. I was working at the college campus in the shitty convenience store they had wedged into a double-sized closet and on

Write it. Now.

2006-11-01T23:41:00.000-05:00

If the image doesn't show up, try again. The NaNoWriMo server appears to be getting slaughtered by page requests.(which is just a fancy way of saying, "Everybody else is doing it, why aren't you?")

remember...

2006-10-28T01:32:00.000-04:00

I _need_ an Esteban Chord Chart

2006-10-28T00:11:00.000-04:00

Seriously, my life seems incomplete without one.If you haven't seen it, you should really try to catch Esteban on HSN when he's hawking his shitty burswood (fancy slang for PLYWOOD) guitars and bunging up scales like a true tone-deaf champion.Anyhow, the chord chart is easily the biggest item in the package - like a big-ass movie poster... and it says "ESTEBAN" right at the top and has a fancy

Give it to Mikey.

2006-10-27T09:58:00.001-04:00

Funky Smith posted a recipe. My wife wants to try it. She told Funky about this. Now Funky is telling my wife to eat Spag. instead of her recipe. I dunno why. That's just the story I heard.So, to make Funky feel better, I will post a recipe that she (and everyone else) is welcome to try. I hear it goes great with fresh bananas and milk. 1 oz. toenails 2 tbsp. dead arm hair 1 pinch of crud

Protesting the Stupids, pt. 2

2006-10-24T16:33:00.000-04:00

I HATE THE FOOTBALL TALKER.FUCK.He is now READING STATS off of some web page OUT LOUD for the benefit ofeveryone around him.One pick. 33 yards.358 yards. That's a league record.So is the 386.I hope he chokes on a field goal.

a day late. several dollars short.

2006-10-24T15:50:00.000-04:00

See here for National Protest the Stupids DayI am protesting the stupids today.Honest.I am lodging a full-scale protest.The stupid is RIGHT HERE talking about the football. I protest.Thanks.

I may be Sacky, but...

2006-10-21T19:08:00.000-04:00

I don't care what kind of horn you play:GROWN MEN SHOULD NOT BE HEARD TALKING ABOUT SACK RATES.It's just not right.

I got my pencil...

2006-10-21T18:25:00.000-04:00

now gimme something to write on.Dust off your AST PowerExec laptop and your fancy clip-on trackball.Less than two weeks until another installment of NaNoWriMo.For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. You get 30 days to eat turkey, visit the in-laws, shop for Christmas, and somehow hack out a 50,000 word novel.I did it last year. I actually finished a book for the first

my brain is turning to mush

2006-10-21T18:12:00.000-04:00

1. I have a cough. Probably bronchitis. Or worse. I wish it would stop.2. The football guy is going NON-STOP because there are no calls coming in.I'm so sick of hearing about Raven's stats from '99 and 2000. Seriously. WHO THE FUCK CARES?I wonder if he knows what kind of picks Jeff Loomis uses. I could tell him, but I don't think he'd give a shit - kinda the same way I feel about

fartypants jones

2006-10-21T14:26:00.000-04:00

I can eat a box of cookies for dinner if I want to. Can you do that?No, you can't. Because you're a fart-faced kid.

Get 'em while they're young

2006-10-20T15:54:00.000-04:00

Make sure your children get an early start in computer education.Here's what my son, who is just five and a half months old can do (with a little help from his mother):From MSN MessengerBaby says:';' cvDaddy says:hi there, mr. babyBaby says:d ]]]]-]`====-Daddy says:are you having a good day?Baby says:[''gbf-p/..cDaddy says:don't tear off any keysBaby says:./=- i7j88uh7tr6555555555555555555y6gv bn

Way to go, Microsoft!

2006-10-16T13:53:00.000-04:00

I know I'm not stupid. However, it's nice to have it validated from time to time.The following is from a recent book on how to write DirectX code outside of C++:"Managed DirectX was released with the latest version of the core DirectX libraries in DirectX9. It enables developers using the new .NET languages (i.e. C#, VB.NET, etc.) to develop rich multimedia applications with DirectX.

the_fuck_you_say.c

2006-10-12T00:27:00.000-04:00

5 CLS10 PRINT "MR. ALBRIGHT IS A GEEK ";20 GOTO 10There you have it. The first kind of computer program I learned how to write. I could even do it in two versions. The one -WITH- a semi-colon would print horizontally, wrapping the text when it got the edge of the fabulous 80-column green or amber screen (IF YOU WERE LUCKY) or the TV (NOT SO LUCKY NOW, ARE YOU?) that you had your Tandy hooked to.

2006-10-11T10:10:00.000-04:00

It's good that I have friends. If I didn't, I wouldn't know about half of the fabulous ways to waste time on the Internet.On our next program: Yeti Sports

a L p

2006-10-10T23:44:00.001-04:00

1. This should be. No - fuck that. NEEDS TO BE a TV show. Like NOW. Pay the man some money for his idea. Kill the people who made the AvP movie. Buy the rights from Fox, and make this TV show. NOW.2. Seeing as how there are more than 200 of these, it makes me sad to think how much fun and giggling I've missed.I guess I'll have to make up for it and read them all tonight.Favorite Word

jesus fucking christ

2006-10-07T15:28:00.000-04:00

"We've taken three pro-bowl players off their hands.""We love rookie quarterbacks.""The only way you get a rating lower than 40 is if you throw lots of interceptions with very few completions.""The only way that happens if you have more interceptions than completions, you only have two or three completions, and you never throw a touchdown.""He was seen on the sideline in tears.""... last season,

Use your ears better.

2006-10-06T12:00:00.000-04:00

Click it.

Sing it for me, Georgie

2006-09-30T21:32:00.000-04:00

Holy cow... somebody has too much time on their hands. I'm glad for that, tho.________________________________________________

Can I get some shells with that?

2006-09-30T20:41:00.000-04:00

I hate George W. Bush. I've hated him since day 1. Actually, that's not quite true. I didn't think such an idiotic moron could ever get his party's nomination, so I just laughed at him for the first few months he was on the national radar. But as things geared up, I quickly discovered that it's possible to hate someone and have that hate continue to grow. It grows like a cancer, spreading

As Stephen Colbert so proudly says...

2006-09-30T20:29:00.000-04:00

I CALLED IT.Survior Ends SegregationThat's all for now...

Everybody in your town could eat at Fogo de Chao every day for the rest of their lives... and even get a slice of cake, too.

2006-09-30T10:39:00.000-04:00

Cost of the War in Iraq(JavaScript Error)To see more details, click here.

Stolen information.

2006-09-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

This week's Next Best Thing Since Sliced Bread is:Sliced Wood. Wonderful and exquisite, great for the home, even better for outside, or for the doors, or for boxes, maybe even for hats and big wooden gloves like the dutch have. Succulent slices of prime selected tender streaks of Teak, Oak, or Cedar for everyone. Fuckin A.

Why Cars Suck it up the Ass - or - Thank you for not Fucking Me Big-Time

2006-09-26T15:12:00.000-04:00

Some time ago, probably around 90,000 miles or so, my van started shifting funny and making a noise when in Overdrive.Then, all of a sudden, the funny shifting stopped and it only made the noise sometimes. So I would therefore sometimes think I should get it looked at. But when I had to drive 3 hours every day and work 9 hours and sleep 8 hours and watch a baby for 5 hours every day I ran out of

Nawlins

2006-09-19T01:14:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I finished watching Spike Lee's documentary on the aftermath and response to hurricane Katrina.I'm sickened and appalled.When you live in a country as rich and diverse as the United States -- where you can be anything and buy anything you desire -- there is no reason to ever go six months without proper housing after a disaster. There is no reason to ever go six months as an unfound

How quickly we all forget.

2006-09-19T01:10:00.000-04:00

Get up off your ass and do something.Watch the trailer:http://www.theusversusjohnlennon.com/site/In case you missed it on your own - I'd like you to pay close attention to the President's statement on troop withdrawal. And no -- I don't mean the current President.

The Real Heroes of the Day

2006-09-14T10:47:00.000-04:00

As they say, the picture says it all:You can get the story here: http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/004457.html

Scenes from a Job, pt. 2

2006-09-12T14:12:00.000-04:00

AND THEN.After more than two weeks of WE CAN WORK THIS OUT, I'M SURE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT from the temp agency guy who I've been telling EVERY DAY about this job place expects me to work an 11:30 AM to 8 PM shift but I was told it was a regular-work-day-hours-9-to-5-or-8-to-4 shift and I NEED TO HAVE THIS RESOLVED NOW RATHER THAN LATER... I had the guy from the temp agency show up at my job

Scenes from a Job, pt. 1

2006-09-12T14:01:00.000-04:00

LET ME TELL YOU:I am working here.I have no login for the computer and/or the network.I have no login for the helpdesk software.I have a SHITTY DON'T WORKIN' MOUSEThe guy brought me a new mouse. It's for PS2.I can't reboot my machine because of SEE ABOVE.So I have to use this BANG IT ON THE TABLE AND SCOOT IT 95 TIMES TO GO 5PIXELS AT A STRETCH mouse.

Announcement

2006-09-08T10:10:00.000-04:00

I have to report about my drive to this new job.Just past Kuntz Road is:JESUS HOUSE BALTIMORE.It's a big church with a big sign.JESUS HOUSE BALTIMORE.Dammit. I am killed every time I see it.

Oh, Great Glorious Quebecois

2006-09-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

It's been more than ten years. TEN FUCKING YEARS.I've been looking all over, with absolutely no luck at all... and then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I find it.Of course, it's at the Wegman's -- which is the biggest goddamn market I've ever seen -- and it's right there in a plain little package sitting in the cooler.The label says, "Fresh Cheddar Cheese."Somehow, in my mind, I never made the

A dee-ba dee, That's all ffffolks.

2006-08-31T16:59:00.000-04:00

When I started my job back in February, I had no access to anything. After a few days they enabled my Windows account so I could log in to computers. I was perfectly happy using the local admin account prior to this since no one could track my idiot surfing habits that way.It took a few more days to get e-mail access and even more days to get access to the trouble ticket tracking system.So that